its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize