i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
