Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
