just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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