Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
