...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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