Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
