yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
