You can't special order awesome
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
