You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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