You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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