you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
