I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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