Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize