I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
