those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
