I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
