I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
