just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I want to fling myself into the sun
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize