There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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