Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
