he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
