Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
