mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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