just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
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