why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
