Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
