Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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