So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
