At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
