Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
