holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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