Don't you send me to vm
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
