I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
