I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
