Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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