i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
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