Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
