After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
