So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
