My underwear smells like fireworks.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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