i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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