you mean i was at the winter classic?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
