you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
