So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Welp...herpes.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm bleeding and have questions
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
