i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
