so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
