A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
