I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I supernannyed him into submission
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
