my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
