doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I checked into jail on foursquare
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
