I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
