dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize