Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
