The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
