i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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