I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
